nicole mcfeely

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a. mottle

one two three four five six seven…the ground beneath feet does not give way-something they seem reluctant to comprehend. bones do not bend at will of pavement. body is breaking in so many ways I’ve stopped counting. Still. So many numbers. Names less faces in the crowd. Refusing to stay still for long enough to capture. if my eyes were cameras. if I could believe in capture. Back breaking broke beautiful who can’t begin to become the person who can live up to these adjectives, associate them with action play instead of playing word games to make sense of mistakes I do I do and you do too and so do you and you and you life is a game we are running out of habit we are running rabid in our habits scheduling cramps around obligations smile for the camera. smile for the man at your side asking you to accept what he ignores. asking for you to ignore the fact that he is ignoring. posing. click. click. click. delete delete delete. hide from beneath surface skin like a blanket but the world is still out there laughing it’s ass off. and it’s laughing at you.